Long time……. NO C...directly M.
Yes, this was such a long period ... although I wrote 3 stories but postponed their blog birth because some people who know they suck, they heard about it and was upset to know that secret is out on the street.
Anyways, I have so many friends from management background and vice versa, so decided to devote my 5 days blog entry to them. People write so much about geeks, nerds and socially deprived software people however we tend to keep Management aside, for abuses after appraisal and for jokes in lunchtime.
History will remember me; I gave them a chance to be recognized….so be a part of history.
Before starting, let me take this opportunity to deny that it’s inspired from any of my management friends….this is a non management view of Management. I want you folks to read it, decide which types are you and let me know by your kind comments…phone calls strictly from beautiful management people. Say no to DOSTANA.
Management Type 001: Born Leaders
They are sincere, committed and light hearted; share their trade secrets with you. This type of management loves their job and backs their team to the tilt. They want you to learn everything, dislodge them from their position so that they are forced out to some higher designations.
They are simply adorable but can’t handle criticism because according to their memory, they invented all that is good around them and take ownership of the “Perfect” word. They are very demanding too so if you are a thick skinned employee; your days are numbered.
Management Type 002: Silent Leaders
They speak very less, portray themselves as very sincere, think of themselves as washer man, who is out to clean all the mess. But beware readers; if you are his team member…..he treats you like donkey. Although you may be working day and night, he gives a dim and treats you with peanuts for good environment. He speaks little because he does not want to blow his trumpet and tell the world that he is a born duffer and reached to this position because of brotherly love.
If you are working under a guy like this, you greet him with pleasantries and gift him freebies. Complete the task given by him or give him some nonsense reason, he won’t understand it anyways. You can find them sitting with a stony silence and speak very little.
Management Type 003: Leaders with less chance
They are brilliant in their job, make sense whenever they speak but rarely respected among their colleagues. Fellow management is always jealous of his knowledge and how he can think it before me syndrome. They have to do with so less chance that they hardly get entertained and asked for their opinion. People know them as doer but are scared of them as doing it so perfectly and fear of being replaced.
If some management person explained to you brilliantly and afterwards some other person says, he is bloody fool. Then you are right there, Eureka! Eureka!! You have found number 003 and 004 management.
Management Type 004: Learning Leaders
They are non approachable and they reproach as everybody else is idiot. Be happy guys….these types of management people are very loyal to fellow idiots. Since they came from hell, they don’t fear the great fall. Don’t scare them as they have nothing to loose and can hit you harder.
You will find them slogging and learning at the same time. After learning for first time, they will pretend to know it for years….so keep them deprived from education and kick them like dog because once kept near, they bite.
Management Type 005: Punching bag leaders
They are punching bags and always found strolling around here and there. They acknowledge that they don’t know stuff but stick to their own little knowledge type of things, other people call it sickness.
They are process oriented and gets confused at drop of a hat. They confute of anything which runs faster than a snail. They believe in history and want to remain in history. They don’t trust people because they fear you will throw them out of his cabin by occupying his place. Although they always get a boot but they come with a fevicol licked back. If you insult them for showing the door…they will laugh about it and confute it in writing.
Did you find your own type, if yes..be happy you are online and world will recognize you by googling “Management Type”. If No, then keep your fingers crossed, this is 1 of 5 part series.
Enjoy and keep your cool….don’t fume …it’s quite HOT right here.
Signing off......Amit P Gupta, your trusted SEO guy from mumbai
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